Planning Matty's Party! Pt. II

For those of you who are choosing to follow this segment of my blog - today I'm going to be sharing the party favors I decided on doing for my son's birthday party.

These particular party favors are appropriate for any age group - except infancy I suppose.. But towards the general public - yes, these are appropriate for mostly everyone.
Also, I can do these now because unlike the loot bags for the children, I don't really have to wait for the RSVPs before getting them started.

For many parents raising younger children, I think the hardest problem for throwing birthday parties is choosing the food. The allergies are the really finicky part because you want to make sure all the kids are having a good time while being completely safe. Plus that, it's no fun being liable for an allergy related incident at a party you're hosting.

So for these party favors, I decided to do packaged truffles with custom tags. The truffles are from Three Fifty Baked Goods, a nut-free and peanut-free baking business in the GTA. The flavours for the truffles include red velvet, chocolate chip cookie dough, oreo and golden oreo (the last two being my personal favourites).

So for making the favors, first you need to consider the packaging. As part of my business, we do offer food-safe packaging that comes in different sizes. In the picture shown, the plastic food-safe packages measure 2 1/5" by 6" in length and height while opening up to 1" wide.

For this specifically, I chose to use bags with significantly greater height than the truffles themselves because of the proportions of the tags being tied on them.

In the photo, you can see that the tags I made are three-piece tags, designed by yours truly.
I made the tags in the custom shape of a turtle to match my son's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle birthday party theme. The tag designs were done with black, green, and brown ink and of course, I had to put a pun on the favor message for good taste, "Thank you for shellabrating Matheson's fifth birthday!"

Now, because the owner of Three Fifty Baked Goods is a new business just starting out, much like Compass and Canvas, I thought it would be nice to help spread their name by including cute nut and peanut free labels on the back of the tags with their company logo. Beyond just being a cute gesture, I know once people try these amazing truffles, knowing that they are also nut and peanut free, they'll be flocking like seagulls to figure out where I got these from. I think the convenience speaks for itself here.



Anyway, after assembling the tags and putting a sample truffle in the food-safe plastic baggy, all I needed to do was tie on some matching green ribbon - for this I chose to use olive just to give more of a colour variety to the whole ensemble. I've specifically requested that the white chocolate icing be coloured green for the actual truffles that I have ordered to use for the favors.
So with four dozen truffle favors - packaged and tied like this, I now have beautifully-yet still somewhat childish-party favors for our guests, and it just so happens to double as a nice statement to put on the sweet table for the party.

For anyone interested in other party favor ideas or to place an order for your own set of customized favor tags for a special event you have coming up, e-mail me at czarina@compassandcanvas.com

To take a look at the baked goods offered by Three Fifty Baked Goods check out their site:
http://threefiftybakedgoods.wordpress.com
where you can find product & pricing details!

Throwback Thursday: Burning Bridges

A lot of people have asked me to discuss my pregnancy for my Throwback Thursday topics. I get asked about my symptoms, but I don't find those nearly as entertaining to read about as my forever-angry-sad-emotions during pregnancy.

Despite the obvious - yes, my son's dad cheated on me when I was pregnant and disappeared and I held a very raging angst against him for that - I also took out a lot of my uncontrollable, depression-induced emotions on the people who supported me most. The littlest things would set me off and more often than I would have liked, I burned bridges. I constantly picked fights over nothing and they always escalated - my fault entirely, I might add.

I remember in the first two months of my pregnancy - one of my friends, a guy I had known since I was 8 years old - supported me to the fullest when he found out I was pregnant. When my boyfriend-at-the-time left me, my friend - we'll call him Mr. H, went out of his way to talk to my ex. Mr. H put up his own defense on my behalf AND on the behalf of the baby-to-be because he was so thoroughly disgusted with the actions of the guy who impregnated me and decided to leave. He always offered to visit me and drive me to my appointments, but I refused every time.
One day I just told him very aggressively to fuck off. Despite everything he did for me, I just let my anger out on him. That was it. He left me alone for the next 7 months until I had my son and he visited me after I came home from the hospital. We became friends again after that, but after being in relationships where our partners were equally possessive, we simply weren't ALLOWED to see each other. Well now he's happily married (not to the crazy possessive chick, thank God) and I haven't seen him in three years.

Moving on, about a month after I had cut him out of my life, I got into an argument with my childhood best friend. Someone else that I had known since I was 8 years old. To be quite honest, I don't remember why we got into a fight. I just remember she was looking out for me, but her opinion wasn't necessarily what I believed I wanted for myself and I just cut her off. There weren't any strings attached, she just left me alone until a week before my son was born. It was a few days after her birthday and we went out for lunch. We laughed over the fight we had and just like that, we put everything behind us. Apparently she knew I was just being hormonal and realized it would be smarter to just keep to herself until I calmed down.
Sure enough, she visited me at the hospital when my son was born, and she even made her attempt to soothe my son when I was in pain and in the hospital bathroom after my epidural had worn off after labour and I couldn't get up from the toilet - yes, ladies, it is THAT bad. To this day, we still keep in touch and she visits often enough. I mean it just goes to show how much of an atrocious mess I must have been to cut someone off that loved me so much.

Within that same time-frame (during the first trimester to early second trimester), I got into another argument, this time with my cousin. This particular cousin of mine went with me to my first ultrasound. Growing up, she was the closest to me in the family. I made it very difficult for her to keep my secret because she did a lot to support me while hiding it from my aunt and uncle (her parents).
Anyway, at my ultrasound, while she was in the waiting room, she was looking through the pictures on my camera and found some pictures that she wanted me to send to her. A few weeks later we got into a fight because I wiped my SD card which contained pictures of my ex - along with the pictures she wanted me to send her. I didn't have the pictures anymore. We got into a fight. The fight turned into "You can fuck outtaa my life and my baby's!" I refused to attend family parties because she was there and I constantly made a fit about having to invite her anywhere. Keep in mind - she was pretty much my best friend since I could remember and I just cut her off like it was nothing.
Crazy right? I'm actually crazy when I'm pregnant.

Then at five months pregnant, I got into another fight with ANOTHER cousin. She was very supportive during my entire pregnancy. It's funny to think about because when I got pregnant she was 22 - which is my age now. Looking back at it, I don't know how she didn't snap at me, I was a complete gremlin when I was 16/17 during the entirety of my pregnancy.
We were fairly close as well at the time, and I was very comfortable telling her anything.
She was one of the first people to find out I was pregnant and she me helped keep my secret.
Anyway, we had a fight over the prospective name options I had for my baby-to-be at the time. She didn't like something I had picked for his name and she expressed this particular distaste with me. I told her she was ignorant (bad move, right?). We got into a fight. A pretty bad one. And then there were TWO family members I refused to associate with at family gatherings.
Anyway, everything settled, now she's Matheson's godmother and before Matheson started school, she would take care of him every Friday for almost two years when I was in university.

Honestly, I was a raging bitch. I found a reason to fight and argue with everyone and I made all my loved ones my living hell. I know that probably doesn't make sense to most people, but what I mean is that I turned everyone into a reason for me to be angry and stress out. Instead of appreciating the love and consideration of my loved ones as a blessing, I found every little reason to be angry with them and created a living hell for myself.
Most of the people I fought with were the ones who were looking out for me the most. They all seemed to confide in me with the best intentions and when they tried to advise me of something they felt was better for me than I thought for myself, I shut them up and cut them off.
Not mature.
I was very immature. I was sixteen, but along with the hormones of pregnancy, I was also very angry at the world for my shortcomings.

Many of my readers have told me that my stories sound so surreal, yet somehow so relatable even though they've never been anywhere close to my position.
Well, that's just the truth. I've been about as crazy, as happy, as mad, as depressed, as hysterical, as compulsive, as absolutely bloody psycho as it gets when you're 16 and pregnant.

It's interesting looking back at it now. I burned way more bridges than I have mentioned, but the aforementioned are the ones I remember specifically because of how bad the arguments were over literally nothing and how it dented the existing relationships I had with these people for a very long time thereafter.

I think it's safe to say that the whole chapter of my life surrounding my relationships during my pregnancy is something I like to throw in the back of my mind and under the rug where I rarely ever get to unless I'm called to discuss them for purposes such as this.
There isn't much of a lesson to this - it's more of a story to give you a bit of insight on the monster I was when I was pregnant. A couple people have told me that they admire me or they idolize me or that I'm like a superhero to them. As flattering as it is, I wasn't always as responsible/mature or even determined as I am now to be the best I can be. I made a lot of mistakes and hurt a lot of people in the past. But I guess I learned from those mistakes myself. Realistically, I am the way I am now because I was disgusted by the person I was before. Knowing how I wanted to raise my son into becoming the best I could wish for him, I knew I had to change who I was first.

My aggressive take on the "Stay-At-Home" Mommy

Just so we're all on the same page here, I AM in fact a stay at home mom - otherwise known as a SAHM in the parenting world. I don't have a conventional job and since I'm not in school for four months... well, I'm not in school for four months - self-explanatory.

After having my son, I've worked several jobs in retail then held some administrative positions with other companies. In the past, I held two jobs at a time on top of being a full-time student and mommy, and I must say, it was rough. Not being able to see my son because I was working long shifts at two different places in the same day was torture. I often refused to get out of bed for school, but knowing I had to do it to secure a future for my son motivated me to get off my ass, despite being exhausted every morning, and attentatively sit at every class for school.

Now, the effort is second nature. I love being kept busy. I hate boredom, but I'm rarely ever bored because I always have something to do.
Being a stay at home mom has several different angles, sometimes all you're doing is taking care of the kids and keeping the home. But let me tell you, that in itself is a 24/7 job that yields a lot more value than the financial value that most men and women can make in the same time frame.

I have so much respect for SAHMs of every sort, not just because I am one, but because I know that the role of being a SAHM - isn't even being SAHM as it literally implies. Realistically a stay at home mom should be redefined as the "wake up early in the morning to prepare food for the day so that by the time the kids wake up you can have them fed, cleaned, and dressed with their bags packed with the right food, homework, pencil case, and books before taking them to school and then driving to the bank, grocery store, department store, hardware store, and doing a last round of chores at Costco before racing home to do as much of the laundry and cleaning that can be done before having to pick up the kids from school and preparing an afternoon snack for them before preparing dinner while having to source appropriate channels of entertainment for both your older and younger kids to enjoy before finishing the cleaning and laundry you left off earlirr while having dinner baking in the oven that you need to constantly check up on while supervising the children and still making time - between fixing up the rest of dinner, clearing the table and cleaning the dishes - to take your children out to the park because they need fresh air and maybe that day you also have to drive the kids to their music lessons or sports practice which is then followed by bringing them home and making sure they're bathed and brushed before bed and still finding the time to fit in a story and all the appropriate kisses goodnight - before preparing for the same routine the following morning" mom. In that case, it's a no brainer, we often get discredited for being at home to begin with because society seems to think that it must be nice. I have respect for every mom that puts in the hard work and dedication for her kids. It doesn't matter if you're a stay at home mom or a single mom that works two jobs just to provide. You're a mom, your life SHOULDN'T be easy, but being easy is never a question. You assume the responsibility and hardships of motherhood the moment you become pregnant and for those that own up to those responsibilities, the hardships and the role in it's entirety - I don't care if your parenting methods are radically different from mine or if I strongly disagree with how you raise your kid, so long as the effort is being put in with the best intentions in mind, I respect you, Mom.

I have changed my career path several times simply because I was thinking of my son. It's hard when you already have the child you're working to provide for because most of us are basing our futures on the kids we don't yet have or the kids we never want to have. However, when you have to base your career path and future on the child that is already there, your life becomes a world of tumultuous decision making and I swear just DECIDING consumes a portion of my life that should be categorized as a part time job on its own.

Anyway, that's why I started my own business. Everyone who's spoken to me personally has a fair understanding of the reason why I pursued my own business instead of taking up a conventional profession as I had initially intended. It was a personal and professional choice, but it was also driven by a certain set of morals that I prioritize and that I wanted to impart with my son.

But here we are, taking a look at the fact that I am a stay at home mom and I still work my ass off as a mom and as a business owner. I mean take for instance the nice weekend I had with my son and my boyfriend at my boyfriend's cottage in Wasaga. Even though I was there for three days, I was still up at 5am answering emails and confirming orders and scheduling shipping dates. Not to mention that my international clients couldn't give a rat's bottom about Canada Day so I had to work yesterday as well. Now this is all on top of being a parent separate from my business.

The thing is, despite pretty much running the entire business on my own with the help of my boyfriend here and there, despite the stress, the late nights, on top of keeping up with school and spending quality time with my loved ones and raising my son to my best ability, the effort that is constantly being drained from me day by day is 100% worth it. It's not even about how good my situation is or how well the money is flowing, it's the fact that I get to train myself to balance everything out and I know that my hard work is going towards something that I genuinely believe is worth the effort. I could work 50 hours a week, breaking my back at a job with another demoralizing boss (I have had one too many in my working experience), at an inconvenient distance away from home that demands so much physical and emotional stress from me, all while questioning my morals because of the controversial practices of a cash cow workplace. I could. And I almost did. But I would rather work the 70 hours a week on my own time being an entrepreneur, running my business the way I want to and focusing on my customer relationships rather than my relationship with a micro managing boss that I'm trying to impress all for a raise that I may not even end of getting. It doesn't make sense to me.

Anyway, the point is, I knew being a mompreneur/stay-at-home-mom was going to be tough, but my respect and appreciation for those mothers has literally multiplied damn well near a thousand-fold after being in those shoes for the past few months.

So for those of you who still think I'm lucky because I have it "easy" running my own business while being able to stay at home and raise my kid. You've got it all wrong.

I'm lucky because I get to work my ass off for the things I actually love and believe is worth my time. I may be putting in triple the effort to run my business than most people put in towards working a full-time job, but if we define lucky for what we individually perceive as being lucky, then from my perspective, I would say that I'm the luckiest person in the world because my effort and my work, my blood and sweat, is actually being converted into a value far greater than money can ever buy and for that I am not only lucky, but I am grateful and I respect and praise every mom, dad, and guardian that considers their full-time parenting with equal regard.