The reaction story of my parents is the one I'm writing about today. The one about my son's pops is a completely different post on it's own.
Anyway, it was just after New Years, my boyfriend at the time - Tyler - declared that he didn't want to be apart of my pregnancy or our child's life. Being a three to four hour drive away from each other, it was more than likely that he'd be out of my life for good.
Up until that night - January 3, 2009 - I was convinced I could hide it from my parents until I was at least five months pregnant. My logic was that because Tyler had shared his wishes to stay with me and with the baby, the two of us would be able to get through the first and second trimester of the pregnancy in secret. However, when he changed his mind and decided he wanted nothing to do with us anymore, the only person I really had was my best friend Chelsea, who I named my son after. That night, I stayed on the phone with Chelsea until 4AM and after both deciding we needed to get some sleep, she said, "You need to tell your parents... at least tell your mom."
So that's what I did.
At 4 in the morning on January 4, 2009, I walked to my parents room, woke up my mom, asked her if we could talk, and after sitting at the dinner table, not saying anything for maybe 30 seconds, the first thing she said was "Are you pregnant?"
I just stared at her like an idiot with nothing to say so she immediately knew that I was.
My mom's reaction was weird. She sort of just said "well abortion is out of the question. What are you gonna do about school? What are you gonna do about work? What are you gonna do about money? Are you gonna graduate? etc. etc. etc." Eventually she asked me what happened with Tyler and after telling her he was gone for good she said "What a shame."
We talked for a short while longer and eventually I got too tired to stay up so we both went to bed.
The next morning, my mom didn't talk to me. She stayed in her bedroom folding laundry for the majority of the day in complete silence until the day passed.
HOWEVER, the day after that, sometime in the morning while I was still in bed, my dad stormed into my bedroom, threw off my covers and said, "Get downstairs, we're having a family meeting."
I nonchalantly got out of bed and acted like I had no idea what was going on and that it didn't phase me.
After bouts of screaming and yelling in the living room, we finally came to the conclusion that I was disowned as his daughter.
Honestly, it was a battle between my parents if anything. My dad wanted me to get an abortion, my mom didn't. My dad assumed I would drop out of school and be on welfare for the rest of my life, my mom kind of didn't even consider that at all, but they still bickered about it. I just sat on the couch with my knees tucked up towards my chest and didn't say anything until I was asked questions.
Well, for the rest of my pregnancy, my dad and I didn't have much of a relationship. We never spoke, and when we did, my dad would throw in remarks about how shameful I was and how I was a disgrace. When I had my ultrasound pictures done, he asked me why I bothered to get copies of them because they were disgusting and I shouldn't be proud of them. Realistically though, this was a huge slap in the face. Between my parents, my dad and I always had the better relationship. Even now, my dad and I get along really well and we spend a lot of quality time together when we're playing music, gardening, building stuff or working on other DIY projects around the house. It was just that entire time during my pregnancy that he refused to speak to me. I guess everything changed when my son was born because it was my dad's first grandson and you can't hold any animosity towards a baby let alone your own grandchild.
Overall, I think the reaction to finding out I was pregnant was handled fairly well by my parents. I mean, they didn't realize at the time, but having my son around made both their lives a lot more enjoyable and it made putting up with my brother and I a lot easier for them to deal with.
Throughout the pregnancy though, my parents managed well. They made sure I was well taken cared of during my pregnancy and helped me out when I needed it. Even though my dad wasn't talking to me, he still drove me around when I needed to get a ride.
On another note, I believe there's a different story about how my family reacted. I mean my whole family. That's another blog post. But that story I haven't told very many people. It's actually one of the reasons why I maintained SOME sanity during my pregnancy and I think it's worth telling eventually... one day.. maybe.
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